a dream; blatant hypocrisy

i feel that dreams utilize a system of emphasizing and understating content; much like cinematography is used in film. i would like to explore that a bit more later. last night i dreamt of several weddings that included many of my friends and family members. the weddings themselves were so atypical and incongruous that i don't believe they were of any literal or symbolic importance. during one of the weddings though, i was sitting next to my brother at a picnic table. i was talking about cigarettes. i was saying that if you were to eat cigarettes they would make you sick, and in a large enough quantity they would kill you. i was marveling at the amount of poisons in cigarettes. cigarettes cause cancer, they are addictive, they are expensive, they have ill effects on the respiratory system, on your circulatory system, on your cardiovascular system. they cause low birth weight. the side of the box says 'smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy'. they are packaged with pamphlets about how to quit. what's so ridiculous, is that all of this is common knowledge, and people still smoke. why? because subtle advertising depicts this really desirable image associated with smoking. cowboys. guitar players. snow boarders. white water rafters. guys that have sexy girls on both sides. groups of smiling people that are having the time of their lives. they all smoke. and it's addictive. try it a few times, and the rest of your smoking career basically takes care of itself. these are the things i'm telling my brother. also, i say, smoking makes your clothes smell like smoke. not classy grandfatherish cigar smoke, but shredded compressed tobacco paper cheap smoke. not only that, i say, but people who have been smoking for ten years, you can smell putrid lung on their breath. as if someone left a steak out on the counter for three hot days. it is absolutely revolting. as i'm talking about this to my brother, in a slightly hushed tone because we're at a wedding type thing, i catch his eye making its' return from a brief glance at my pocket. it's one of those dreams. worse than being naked in front of your peers (which i've never had by the way). i don't even have to look, i know there is a pack of cigarettes in my pocket.

in reality, i do smoke occasionally. it can be difficult to manage moderation, especially with an addictive substance. i feel like i'm doing a lot better than people that smoke a pack a day. pride is poison. even if you only eat a little shit, you better believe you're a shit eater.